Love/Hate 1.2

I love Southern summers
I hate Northern winters
I love Sega's NBA 2K basketball games
I hate EA's NBA Live basketball games
I love Verizon
I hate Sprint
I love Late Night with Conan O'Brien
I hate The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
I love The Simpsons
I hate American Dad
I love Maury's "U R the Baby Daddy" shows
I hate that 90% of them are Black people
I love Jeopardy
I hate Wheel of Fortune
I love Looney Tunes
I hate Scooby Doo
I love remixes
I hate the remix to the remix to the remix.....

Don't Quote Me!

Here are some random quotes heard at my job. Remember I work with several other maintainers who have filthy mouths. One of which is my Supervisor who may have the dirtiest one of them all. Oh, yeah...she's a girl!

These are taken completely out of context....ON PURPOSE!

"Aye! Find that website. I'll give'em one of my balls for $80,000!"

"Oh, this is gonna be good. I'm gonna tell you now that I ran outta lube a long time ago!"

"Who dat playin' with my monkey balls!"

"Pull yo pants round yo ankles and pray for it to be over quick. (whispers)It ain't."

"I don't give a f*ck bout you or yo one nut having ass!"

"Men are so retarded. They don't know when a girl is throwing them the pussy."

"Its gonna take about 3 of yall to hold that muthaf*cka down to rape him!"

"I told that muthaf*cka! I ain't getting out the car till you tell me why I'm getting out the car!"

"If you listen closely, you can actually hear him getting fatter."

"Gotcha B*tch!"

"Don't make me pull yo gangsta card. You ain't been in long enough for them to believe you over me. I'll beat the stripes off yo ass!"

"Yeah, I like porn. I like it even more when my kids don't get on my computer and find it."

"I just clicked on this eBay thing and this thing popped up where this guy was selling a buffalo's nut sac."

"I bet you'll find it a lot faster with my foot stuck up in yo ass!"

""I brought a goddamn salad so I could eat healthy to lower my blood pressure! One of them muthaf*ckas ate my goddamn salad and now I'm mad and my blood pressure is worse!"

"They can get both mine for $250,000."

You may wonder why a lot of these have exclamation marks....cause people are always yelling at each other!!!

Its all in fun though.

Moments In (un)Black History Pt.3

Here is some more (un)Black History for you....enjoy

1. Soul Plane - You(yes I'm addressing you as a person) are the reason Black script writers and actors suffer so much. Hollywood Shuffle You are also what I believe to be the offspring of BET and UPN. A true bastard child. You ruined the careers of just about everyone who appeared in you. Much like that girl who lives in my building. Everyone, who has been "in" her is just a shell of a man now. So.....Soul Plane if you ever have kids aka sequels....I'll slap your mother! I think its UPN....or maybe....No! UPN is the female. I'll slap the sh*t outta the UPN for birthing you! Think about it!






2. Any Isley Brothers Album Cover - Seriously....just pick one.










3. Beyonce's Mama's Clothing Line - Those little girls in the ads look like done up shanks. Wait, shank is a strong word...."hookers", yes....hookers is much better. Tina........somebody should upgrade you. Get on that now. Let me hear some progress in a week. (no picture available...THANK GOD!)







4. I Love New York - I didn't see season 2 but I know them brothas and others didn't represent. New York does look like Lamb Chops!







5. The Kobe Brant Trial - Kobe takes it strong to the hole....then snitches on Shaq. What do you expect from an Italian.



6. The Whole R. Kelly/Jay-Z Mess - Since when did brothas start pepper spraying each other? Man, y'all should've just put the gloves on and duke it out. You both were training, right? Now that I think about it.....Dame got maced by some French pimps! Them damn Roc Boys and their non-lethal weapons.








That Is All 4 Now

Love/Hate 1.1

I love Pre-Katrina Oprah
I hate Post-Katrina Oprah
I love Peter Pan crunchy peanut butter
I hate Skippy peanut butter
I love my state
I hate the racism
I love that I can laugh at the racism
I hate that I can't cry about it
I love watching basketball
I hate watching baseball
I love Christmas
I hate Arbor Day
I love Scrubs
I hate Frasier
I love hip hop
I hate country
I love when a song has a hot hook
I hate when it has a hot dance
I love fresh out the box
I hate fresh off the street corner
I love the first 2 Superman movies
I hate every one after those
I love celebrity news
I hate "famous for being famous" people
I love my mama's cooking
I hate when people say they can out cook her
I love flounder
I hate herring
I love grits
I hate cream of wheat
I love adidas
I hate reeboks
I love Amy
I hate Lindsey

Moments In (un)Black History Pt.2

More? Yes I thought of something else that is very (un)Black History.

Ready?
Drum Roll Please!..........


Lil' Kim's Face (After 2003) - Where did you go wrong? You were consider the best female MC. People were starting to believe Biggie didn't write all your lyrics. We couldn't wait for you to appear on award shows...just to see what you were wearing. You had hit songs everywhere. The first boob job? Nice. First nose job? Great. Second boob job? Wow...you look good...but porn star "good". I was still feeling you, even though to this day I refuse to listen to the intro to HARDCORE. Puff said you were going too far....you said your boyfriend kept beating you up. Michael Jackson called and said you could join his club of "just 2" nose jobs. Really, Mike?.....just 2? Here's to Lil' Kim not getting anymore plastic surgery. Also to anyone who can't see what is in the mirror just might be the best you have. Just be happy with yourself....when you are happy.

Moments in (un)Black History Pt.1

First I'd like to explain what I mean by (un)Black History. It stems from the idea that there are legitimate moments that raise African-Americans up and there are moments that just bring us down. These "moments" don't always have to be a certain event. Sometimes, its just a person, place, or thing.

This shall be both serious and comical.....its up you to decide which is which.

1. The Jheri Curl - With its nasty juiced-up appearance, the jheri curl plagued Black folks throughout the 80s. It even claimed Micheal Jackson as a victim. I personally think that the intense burning of his scalp caused him to revert back to a child-like state. Later, causing him to adopt a monkey and have a "thing" for kids. The jheri curl also claimed my mother once. It was a long hard road to detach that beast from her cranium, but after some time and my constant snickering, she went with a straight perm. I still have nightmares about my uncle's "curl". I imagine it reaching out with its greasy tentacles and slathering me till I drown in activator juice. Sometimes, that nightmare gets mixed with the werewolf one....and freaks me the f*ck out. Imagine a werewolf chasing you.....and he has a jheri curl. Doesn't even have the sense to wear a shower cap! So the jheri curl is my number one draft pick for (un)Black History Moments!

2. The DC Sniper - We as Black people were soooooo sure that the sniper had to be White. When we found out that he was Black.....and a Muslim....we couldn't wipe the egg off our faces. He was riding around shooting people while they were gassing up their cars, leaving work and buying groceries. He put a big dent in the economy of that area. People were afraid to leave their homes. They didn't do anything. Crack sells saw an all-time low. The real problem with the DC Sniper being Black is that he didn't just ride around shooting white folks....he rode around shooting everybody......in a MUTHF*CKIN Chevy. How many Chevys do you see on a daily basis? Too many to count. I think I just saw one drive by my computer....yeah inside the library! I hope there won't ever be another "sniper". We were embarrassed enough with that one. The next probably will kick it up a notch and drive a hybrid car. You'd never think somebody so Eco conscious would be gunning people down as they buy lottery tickets.
3. The BET Network...After 2001 - Should I really have to say anything more about the sorry state of BET now days? Look at what they have done to a promising dream. You know its over when you replace your news(and the very sexy Jackie Reid sip) with more music videos and old Comic View clips. Yeah, I love Comic View but does a brotha really need to see Soulja Boy "Crank That" 29 times a day? Give me a chance.....sh*t! Why hasn't BET taken it upon itself to buy up all the old(also very funny) Black sitcoms? Black dramas? Movies that aren't just "hood" movies? Why not get Reading f*cking Rainbow....instead of playing a video that tells everyone to "read a book, read a book, read a goddamn book!" BET you should apologize to all Black people and go off the air for a week just to punish yourself.....you fired Free....to end up with Rocsi...she ain't even Black.....neither was the chick before her!


I'm not done! But I need you're help. If you can think of some more (un)Black Moments, please post them in the comments and I'll gladly add them to the list.

This is my mission until Black History Month starts

Shout Out 2 Sherita!!!!

Tell Em!

Burnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

The Adventures of Damon&Kyle....Last Night Part 3

Part 3
After enjoying some good(possible cancer causing McDonald's) food we start back for base...Kyle notices he has an missed call. He says it probably was Savage.....so he didn't hit that tree......yet!

So we start talking bout something and he tells me this story about a girl he wanted to break up with once but then they got back together and it was a bad relationship for 3 years.....I said "wait!...3 years! that's..." before I could get the words out my mouth good Kyle had slammed on the brakes and we started fish tailing on the road....I looked up to see there was this mutt of a dog just standing there on this completely empty road. He just stood there like he wanted to be hit....I then told Kyle that I had a theory I came up with a long time ago about dogs committing suicide by getting hit on purpose. He said he would've f*cked that dog UP! If he had decided to just hit him....I said at least it wasn't something big like Bigfoot. Kyle said Bigfoot would total his Malibu.....I agreed.

Then he said if he didn't....he'd get out the car and break Bigfoot's neck right then and there. I said "you know how pissed Bigfoot would be if you hit him and broke his leg? He'd get up and be hopping on his good leg. Then he'd put his hands up like he wanted to fight yo ass. Bet you didn't think Bigfoot could box?" Kyle said "he be in the woods punching deer and sh*t!"

Here is the rest of our exchange: enjoy
Damon: Can you imagine Bigfoot doing regular human sh*t?
Kyle: Like writing letters to family.
D:Dear Bigfoot, you smell horrible, take a shower with better soap
K:Dear Bigfoot, I had sex with your mother and shaved my name into her back fur.
D:He'd be reading the letter and freaking out. He'd write you back. The letter wouldn't get there though.
K:I know.
D:Bigfoot probably wouldn't put proper postage on the envelope! People at the post office would look at it and say...stupid Bigfoot! You can't use 39cent stamps anymore!
K:When he gets it back he just freaks out and smashes his mailbox....
D:And punts a raccoon....
K:B*cth slaps a moose.....
D:He's in the woods with a deer in a headlock.
K:I know right!
D:He puts a bear in the Figure-4 Leglock.....
K:The bear is all confused....
D:Reaching for the ropes...
K:His tag partner.....
D:Dear Bigfoot, you are a ball hog.....pass the rock more often.
K:Dear Bigfoot, your mom has human herpes......there is no known cure.
D:He's sittin' there with his glasses on.....
K:Big thick ones!
D:He thought they were fly!
K:All the other animals laugh!
D:Stupid Bigfoot.....take those glasses off. You look like a dumb ass!
K:He goes around just pissed off all day.
D:I should make posters with him doing every day sh*t!
K:Bigfoot checks his e-mail.....
D:All spam!
K:Bigfoot trys to log-in to Myspace....
D:Got no comments or friend requests today....
K:Puts air in his car tire.....
D:He doesn't even have a car!
K:Just a tire!

There is more but I think we both laughed way too much to remember it all......
Thanks 4 Your Time

The Adventures of Damon&Kyle....Last Night Part 2

Part 2
Now we are headed back towards base when we get another phone call. Its some guy who really sounds drunk. Kyle can't understand what he's saying so he gives the phone to me to get the directions to pick this guy up. I ask him the address and he tells me in a slurred voice "305 Point Court....P-O-I....P-O....P-O-I-N-T Court!" Yeah he actually spelled 'point' out to me. So I said hold on for a second and he said he didn't have a second and hung up. So Kyle said he was a douche...."douche"....yeah that's it, a "douche bag"...... stupid Airman Savage! So about 3 minutes later the phone rings again and I answer,"Airmen Against Drunk Driving!" Its Airman Savage again and he asks for a ride home.....yes his drunk-ass spells Point again! So as we get closer to his location we both start getting mad....its the same f*cking party we pick the first couple up from!!!

So we pull up and wait outside for 5 minutes...then we decide to go get this "Airman Savage". As we walk around the house to the garage we see a bunch of white guys playing beer pong. I KNOW I heard one of them say "too many n*ggas, not enough hoes" as I was rounding the corner. So now I'm really pissed. They take a look at us then they go back to being drunk and belligerent again. So I say loudly "is there an Airman Savage here?" They look at each other then one guy says he didn't know who that was but he probably was in the house. So myself and Kyle go into the house where we find the following: a girl walking around with a big rip in her jeans, some other drunk girls basically simulating doggystyle on each other, and some guy who says something to Kyle in a mumbled voice and when Kyle says "what you say?" he backs away like he thought he was gonna get beat up.
So we stand there for like 3 minutes checking out the scene; lots of liquor, drunks, and no Airman Savage. So I ask again, "is there an Airman Savage here?" One guy nervously asks, "why? are you gonna kick his ass?" I guess they thought I was because I looked pissed, had on an Army shirt and my dog tags.....they probably thought I was an Army Sgt. I said "no, just go get Savage"......then somebody said they think he left already. So I told Kyle he probably drove home and is wrapped around some tree somewhere....he laughed. We went outside and decide to leave and go get some McDonald's.

The Adventures of Damon&Kyle....Last Night Part 1

Part 1
So last night I was in my dorm room just chilling, reading magazines and playing Smash Bros....when there is a knock on my door. Its my boy Kyle from downstairs and he says, "whatcha doin'?" I say nothing, and he says "you wanna come ride with me to pick this drunk guy up?" (see Kyle had volunteered to be a designated driver this weekend for Airman Against Drunk Driving). I said sure, why not.....and I got dressed.
So we go to this neighborhood not too far from base to pick up this guy from a party. When he finally comes out the house he has this girl with him. Wife, maybe girlfriend. They're pretty tipsy and are trying their best to hide it. Me and Kyle notice. Especially, when the girl says, "Oh! McDonald's! I love fries!" as we pass a McDonald's. (you had to here her voice when she said it). So, anyway we drop them off and laugh our asses off knowing that that guy was gonna try and get some tonight but she probably was gonna pass out. (guys get drunk and horny, girls get drunk and sleepy)

So we assume that's the end of our night.....WRONG!

Negro History Month

Its almost time for Black History Month and if you haven't been paying attention - well I'm the official book for all things BLACK. When it comes to Black and History I am the end-all knowledge keeper.

1. Like did you know that Kool-Aid was originally made as a quick fix drink for astronauts. Invented by Roscoe G. Red in the late 1950s. That's why sub-consciously we all love "red" Kool-Aid.

2. Colonel Sanders may have made up some herbs and spices but Aurthur Lincoln invent the first deep-fryer in the early 1900s.

3. Also speaking of chicken(refer to midimarc.blogspot.com for father info) it takes a strong woman to find other uses for chicken. Like for a personal babysitter, guard chicken, and postal service. You can thank Wilma Johnston for these rudimentary concepts.

If there every was a time to celebrate these somewhat unknown champions in Black History...it would be those beautiful 28 days of February..... wow..... Black History Month can only get better each year.

Love/Hate

I love having Mondays off from work
I hate having to get up at 6AM the next day
I love getting stuff in the mail
I hate having to wait for it to arrive
I love getting a text message
I hate when the person sends the same one twice
I love getting a good idea
I hate when I forget it
I love playing basketball
I hate when people on the team don't play hard
I love going home to visit
I hate that I think I'm gonna have soooo much fun
I love vodka
I hate gin
I love the holidays
I hate old family feuds
I love that my brother is getting older
I hate that he still can't be my baby brother forever
I love my parents
I hate their differences
I love hip hop
I hate rap
I love to travel
I hate to pack
I love Reannon
I hate her situation
I love wearing my custom t-shirts
I hate when people say that I couldn't have made that concept up myself
I love the lovers
I hate the haters
I love 72 degrees
I hate 27 degrees
I love LRG clothing
I hate Southpole
I love the idea of having a girlfriend
I hate when it turns out to be a bad idea
I love kids
I hate bad ones
I love "Daydreaming" by Lupe Fiasco
I hate "Sprinkle Me" by E-40
I love drawing
I hate drawing
I love new music
I hate new BAD music
I love my mama
I hate her ex-husband
I love to sleep
I hate nightmares
I love to write blogs
I hate when people take them too serious
I love Hopkins, SC
I hate Sao Paulo, NV
I love smart, funny, beautiful women
I hate dumb, humorless, ugly(inside/outside) women
I love that my friends are all tryna do something with their lives
I hate that it seems like it doesn't always work the way they want
I love pit bulls
I hate that people think they're mean

That is all for now........more to come

Last Wednesday aka "The Day It Got Real"

Alright a quick setup to this story.
At my job we have different buildings that we go into to get certain items for work. One of this buildings is called Dagger Support. Its where we keep all our tools for working on the flight line. You have to check them out under your name and return them completely at the end of your shift.

Well last Wednesday at roll call we were informed that Support failed an inspection because they found a washer in one of the returned roll around tool boxes. Anyway so now when we check boxes we have to lift up every tool and check for trash and other sh*t.

So I get assigned to launch my jet with SSgt. Thomas. A cool as Black guy from Alabama. He's funny as hell and everybody enjoys working with him. I learn a lot working with him and its never boring. Well we were in support checking our tool box and he was saying how dumb this sh*t is. So he found a scribethat had some rust on it...he asked one of the Support guys, "aye man, I found some corrosion on this tool. What you want me to do about it?" *PARENTAL ADVISOR*

The guy replied...... "why don't you stick it in your wife a few times." That's when sh*t got REAL!!!! Sgt Thomas lost it! He has always been this easy-going, funny, personable man. But he lost it with that comment. You don't f*cking know me like that homeboy! You watch your f*cking mouth! You damn right you were wrong! I'll beating yo f*cking ass homeboy! Naw! F*ck that sh*t you don't ever think you can talk to me like that! (about this time he had went around and gotten right in the guy's face) You bout to get yo b*tch-ass beat! You ever come out yo mouth like that again to me and I'll beat the F*CK outta you muthaf*cka. Yeah! Yeah! Watch yo f*cking mouth! You don't know me like that homeboy! Say something else about my wife or my family and you gonna wear that ass whipping! Try me muthaf*cka! Try me!

The whole time me and all the other guys standing around were just in shock. We didn't move or say anything for a long time. I didn't know what was gonna happen. I think the guy even sh*t his pants. lol

Funny Of The Moment

Random Pictures

My Great-Auntie Maybelle(right), and her daughter Mozora. Man! They are short but the sweetest ladies in the whole world!

My view from the apartment in DC. My view at the beach (Myrtle Beach, SC)Yeah. That's me.

Hey America

So hot stuff I'm currently listening to.

Go Baby

There Is A Special Place For You

So here is another RANDOM story I remembered.....enjoy.

One time I was just chillin' at the house in Gadsden aka "the country" when my friend Marcum called me and was like "let's go somewhere." So I said cool, let's ride out. So bout a hour later he shows up to scoop me and he damn near has tears in his eyes. He was still laughing like the Joker when I got in the car. So I asked whats so funny. He said "do you know that dog down the dirt road that always chases my car?'' I said yeah, the German Shepard!

Well today as he rode down the road to my house the dog went into a full sprint behind his car and just as he was closing in.........Marcum slammed on the brakes! He said he heard a loud THUMP and the dog ran away yelping. So we both had a good laugh about that one. Then as we got on the road to leave my house we passed the spot where the dog usually chases cars. Not this time! He just sat in the yard looking all defeated. After that day he has never chased a car again. Marcum broke his spirit and possibly his nose bridge.

So the moral of this story is.....

"Please Be Kind, REWIND."

Thank u 4 your time.....God Bless

Lupe Fiasco's The COOL

The Cool



My official breakdown of the last album I purchased of 2007.

1. Baba Says Cool For Thought - the intro is just a lady running down some sh*t in a poem form that happens in the society and basically sets up the idea of what's not cool. C+
2. Free Chilly - good harmonize song. B
3. Go Go Gadget Flow - hot song. A-
4. The Coolest - I'd like it better if the hook wasn't so N-word heavy. B-
5. Superstar - you know its a hit when my dad&mama listen to it. A+
6. Paris, Tokyo - a low key trip around the world. A
7. Hi-Definition - the only song to feature a major artist(Snoop Dogg). B
8. Gold Watch - straight forward flow. B-
9. Hip-Hop Saved My Life - good storytelling on this one. B
10. Intruder Alert - a song about a bad relationship, surprise its great. A+
11. Streets On Fire - a song about a virus, good flow, better hook. C+
12. Little Weapon - about little kids being used as weapons, good concept. C
13. Gotta Eat - not much to say about this one, middle of the road for me. C
14. Dumb It Down - that real fire if you like the real flow. A+
15. Hello/Goodbye - something very, very different. C
16. The Die - somebody dies. C+
17. Put You On Game - flowing to the point. B-
18. Fighters - the singing is the best part of this one but still hot to me. A
19. Go Baby - will make you dance, I even got an idea for the video. A+

Overall I'd have to say it was a good album, a few missteps here and there but solid if not classic.

Final Grade B+