The Sitdown Interview... Part 2

Part 2

So when was the last time you saw something funny?
This girl I was with was having a orgasm and her face just went crazy. You remember the ending to Terminator 2? Just all kinds of faces! There was an episode of Batman the Animated Series... I think it was ClayFace... haha

Do you do well on tests?
Yes. Blood, Urine, HIV... not so much with the pregnancy tests.

What was your greatest childhood memory?
When I first French kissed a girl. ummmm... minty!

Who was she?
A girl named "Ketchup"

That's a weird name.
Not as weird as "StretchAssStrong"

True!
I know a guy name "Cook".

Can he cook really well?
Not sure. He is blacker than a muthaf*cka though!

Why do you buy so many pairs of shoes?
Makes my d*ck bigger... true sh*t!

I should start buying more shoes. I only have a few pair.
I feel sorry for your girlfriend.

Yeah, it sucks. She has a lot of shoes...
Stick your arm in there.

I only have one watch.
Understood.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Spain. In a hotel room with a glass of Bacardi and two women who don't speak much English.

That sounds cool.
Yes, it is cool indeed.

Would you love a girl even if she didn't love you the same way?
I have. But times change and I don't love you more than you love me now. Its better that way.

I heard the dorms get pretty wild during the weekends. Is this true?
Naw. They have orgies everywhere in the world. Its very normal.

Last question: What do you think is your best quality?
G-Spot finding abilities!

Outstanding! Thanks for doing the interview.
My pleasure.

The Sitdown Interview... Part 1

Here is the new interview I did with SlyConn. And yes I answered some of the questions very randomly ... on purpose! Enjoy

So this is Our second time doing a interview.
Yeah. Thanks for having me back.

Always. So lets get right into it. How are you enjoying your time in Georgia?
Its cool. Haven't really gotten the whole Georgia experience yet.

How bout them Celtics?!?
KG has got to get his ring this year! LeBron is gonna have many opportunities in the next 12 years. KG doesn't have 12 years left.

Heard you almost got into a fight down in Texas. What happened?
Some lil punk ass bouncer told me I couldn't wear my hat backwards in the club.... so when I took it off and stared him down he just run and got another bouncer. I wore my hat backwards anyway.

What can a girl say to make you interested in her?
"Grey Goose gets me loose"

Would you date a girl who had kids?
Sure. As long as I don't have to take them anywhere. Do you know that little kids always ask too many questions?

Where is the best place to eat in Georgia?
I can't recall her name...

If a friend of yours wanted to breakup with his girlfriend, what would be your advice to him?
Make sure you cry while you're telling her how bad she was at sex... tell her it hurts you to inform her that she sucks at life. That way it looks like you broke up with her because she can's do anything right... not because you met someone else.

If they made a movie about you, what would it be called?
"The Life and Times of a Guy With Size 13 Feet"

Would you write a novel?
Yes. "Washing Yo Ass For Dummies"

Who would you like to meet at least once?
Its a toss-up between Sanaa Lathan and Michael Jordan. Whom ever has the better crossover at the time

Whats the most freaky thing you've ever done with a girl?
First thing... I only do freaky things with girls... f*cking open ended question! Anyway, I blindfolded her and tied her to the bed, then I brought out the ice cream and sprinkles, then while I made the world's greatest sundae, I just sat there and lectured her on the political unrest in the Middle East...

How does a female earn your love?
practice, practice, practice...

If you could give yourself a nickname, what would it be?
"Grits&Gravy"

Who do you hate right now?
Nobody. I don't hate people... I stab them!

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
I can't recall her name...

You're the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, how do you keep your employees happy?
Friday afternoons = strip club&donuts

If you could punch anyone in the face, whom would that person be?
Probably unconscious after I hit them directly in the temple.

What are cell phones good for?
Receiving nude picture messages

Obama or Clinton?
Jesus! I love that guy.

What do you do when you're stuck in a room full of White people and you're the only Black person there?
Yell out, "Jesus was a Black man, and I have proof!"

Who knows you the best?
My mama I guess.

Who loves you the most?
My mama I guess.

Who hates you the most?
My mama I guess.

Give us a first name of a woman you would marry.
ummmm.... Lena

Regrets?
Beating up all those little kids.... back when I was a little kid.




That is Part 1... stay tuned(there is free candy)

The Joy Of Cooking [The Fat F*ck Edition]

The other night I was laying on the bed in my dorm room when I got this huge hunger for some of my mama's fried squash. I mean all I could think of was how she'd only prepare it when squash was in season. Also how she knew it was one of my favorites. Also how I couldn't have it now because they don't cook it at the dining hall... and I'm sure it wouldn't taste as good anyway.

So what follows is a list of my favorite foods and who makes them...enjoy

• Pork Chops - my dad and my mama both make great "chops" either way I'm good.
• Red Velvet Cake - that's my stepmother all the way.
• Cornbread - its a toss up between Mrs. Nora(RIP) or my stepmother
• Fried Chicken - my dad, mama and my sister
• Shrimp&Crabs - that's mama again
• Cookies - my stepmother can bake her ass off!
• Greens - collard, mustard, tender, turnip... that's all my grandma Margaret(RIP)
• Cabbage - mama
• French Fries - dad
• Grits - dad again... they are soooo buttery
• Pancakes - actually that's me... I make'em from scratch too...just like my granddad
• Lasagna - my stepmother makes the best I have every tasted
• Hamburgers - my Auntie Lo does it on the grill
• Bar-B-Que - my Auntie Lo or my stepmother
• Fried Fish - that's Ms Wanda aka my mama again red snapper, trout, flounder....
• Rice? - well yeah there are all types of rice... I hate just plain white rice! so you got yellow aka "chicken", Spanish, dirty, curry, wild, brown, spicy.... everyone does their own thing on this one :)
• Eggs - I only eat them one of two ways scrambled or fried. myself, my Auntie Lo, my dad and stepmother. My mama has this habit of putting milk in hers... annoys the hell outta me!
• Steak - well seeing as how I only get T-Bones from my mama...she wins by default

Well that's all I can think of for now... do you know some more foods that only certain people cook your favorite way?

Post 100!

And now for my 100th post on blueroseproject.blogspot.com I present...

LAVELL CRAWFORD (speaking of 100)



Stick around fot the next 100... they're gonna be great!

Thanks 4 Your Time

Say GoodBye

Its time for me to say goodbye to some things.

goodbye... to buying shoes off the Internet at full price
goodbye... to LRG hoodies, it is officially too damn hot for y'all
goodbye... to Justine sending me nude pictures
goodbye... to my chances of going to Las Vegas before the winter
goodbye... to being a total fat ass, hello gym
goodbye... to ever wanting to go to another ORE
goodbye... to SMSgt Wall, he made Chief and is on his way to Korea
goodbye... to Mother's Day til next year
goodbye... to "whatshername" 4 months huh?
goodbye... to picking on Amy for not being able to join http://www.theurbanblogger.com/
goodbye... to the Atlanta Hawks
goodbye... to paying for music on the Internet
goodbye... to ever talking to some of the people I went to Basic with
goodbye... to ever talking to some of the people I went to Tech School with

Thanks 4 Your Time

Hey Its Mother's Day...Heres What I Got 4 U So Far

Well here we are - another Mother's Day. My mama is in South Carolina but I'm in Georgia :(
But I did give her a gift...a lil change to get her hair "did". :) I know she gonna get it braided... She just refuses to grow old! lol

But anyway its 1:30pm...I'm in the library and I'm listening to all this music I downloaded and here's what has happen so far today.

Called my mama....she was on the phone with one of her old friends Rochelle...wished them both a Happy Mother's Day...called my step mama... she's making cakes and relaxing...my dad told me that if I did my taxes through TurboTax I might not be getting my rebate til June....and it will be a paper check :( ... he also told me to start looking for hotels for them when they visit...he said to report back in a week...guess they gonna be visiting soon....sent text messages to Amy, Val and my Auntie Lo.... told Marcum and RJ to wish their mamas a Happy Mother's Day.... Marcum gave me an idea for a funny story... it involves White people having to march to get their civil rights back because they lost them... that's the kind of sh*t we talk about... in the library trying to find a Chevy Impala to buy.... I want a white one... very hard to find round here apparently...when Kingdom Come.... just heard that...now Rodeo... love that song.... if nobody don't know you/I'm gon make y'all famous... I filled up a 4GB thumb drive in less than 1 1/2 weeks... found a way to save YouTube videos to it..... gotta have my Dave Chappelle clips for work.... and no I 'm not sending it to you Millard!... always want something but never sends me anything... hate it of love B*tch!....

Thanks 4 Your Time

Can I Be Stopped?

I have a little problem.... some would call it a shoe fetish...

I call it a "desire"

When I see a pair of well designed shoes I can't really bring myself to attempt to buy them. I look for my color, size, and then the price. After that I have to try to convince myself not to buy them. I say stuff like: "did I pay my cell phone bill yet?", "did I send my mama that money?", "do I wanna go out this weekend?"

All these questions are to justify myself spending $100 on a pair of shoes because I like the way they look.

Do I have a problem? maybe...it could be worse! I could be trying to talk myself out of stealing to support a drug habit.

Hi. My name is Damon and SHOES ARE MY DRUG.

Girl of the Moment

Real quick...cause I never seem to have enough time

This is something I came up randomly to honor all the women I admire for some reason or another. I will change it as I see fit. If you would like to be honored...well say so! lol

The first "Girl Of The Moment" is Fancy!

Congratulations...what did you win?...well you get to be on my blog page for everyone to see...that's an award in itself.

Thanks 4 Your Time

Real Quick... Again

For the ADD set

So Mother's Day is fast approaching and I wanna take a moment to say something about my mama. Ms Wanda Wilkerson

You are the best mother a person could have. You never made me feel unloved and you never put yourself before me. I might not have always had what I wanted but I always had what I needed.

Mama...I love you.


Now get back to frying that chicken before I smother you with a pillow!!!







luv u :)

Something Quick!

Here are a few of the topics discussed while I was in Savannah.

Why don't Black men eat p*ssy?

Why would anyway nowadays need to know how to tie a noose.

Do you take drunk girls home to have sex? Are do you do the right thing and just take them home?

Do all Blacks love chicken?

Where was the best Bar-B-Que you ever had?

What is the difference between South Carolina and North Carolina?

Who should win the NBA Championship?

Which stripper in the club makes the most money? [we were in the stripper club at the time]

What famous girl can you "really" get?