50 Facts About Women

50 Facts About Women



1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feellike they're actually in control.

2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" isirrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fairgame.

3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks ofclothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".

4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know youcan hear them.

5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in aneffort to trap you into feeling guilty.

6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need tofill it, even if they have nothing to say.

7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are.That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

8. Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is morephysical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the manwants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.

9. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around whenthere's a spider or a wasp involved.

10. Women can't keep secrets. Theyeat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as beinguntrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

11. Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them achance to gossip.

12. Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she'sdoing. It might be the lottery calling.

13. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that theywouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off" switch.

14. Women think all beer is the same.

15. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditionersin the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like atropical rain forest.

16. Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainmentthat allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment thatreminds them of how horrible things could be.

17. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth ofclothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-daytrip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feellike wearing each day.

18. Women brush their hair before bed.

19. Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty goodidea about how she'll be in bed.

20. Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.

21. Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility,"It's there in the Bible". Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?

22. Women do not know anything about cars. "Oil- stick, oil doesn't stick?"

23. Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and redcarpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.

24. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. Aman would not be able to identify most of these items.

25. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren'tlooking, men kick cats.

26. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriendfor two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friendand they will talk for three hours.

27. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty thegarbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.

28. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility ofgetting lost using a shortcut.

29. Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don'tfall asleep afterwards.

30. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

31. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think itmeans that. PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse.

32. The first naked man a women see is "Ken".

33. Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.

34. Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-handturn.

35. "Oh, nothing," has an entirely different meaning in woman-languagethan it does in man-language.

36. Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women.

37. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.
38. All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unlessthey really have 5 pounds to gain.

39. If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, youcan probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you do?"

40. Only women understand the reason for "guest towels" and the "good china".

41. Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to belet into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with thoserights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing thecloset, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.

42. Origin of the word "woman" is: woo-man.

43. If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzytoilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lidto stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)

44. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefertaking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men outbecause they "left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds andlowering it themselves.

45. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get menarrested.

46. Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despiteclaims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise toget to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

47. Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay.

48. It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay. Youdon't see straight men dancing together.

49. Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll goout and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catchwomen checking out other men; women will always catch men checking outother women.

50. The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another womanwearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say,"Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!"