The Adventures of Damon&Kyle....Last Night Part 3

Part 3
After enjoying some good(possible cancer causing McDonald's) food we start back for base...Kyle notices he has an missed call. He says it probably was Savage.....so he didn't hit that tree......yet!

So we start talking bout something and he tells me this story about a girl he wanted to break up with once but then they got back together and it was a bad relationship for 3 years.....I said "wait!...3 years! that's..." before I could get the words out my mouth good Kyle had slammed on the brakes and we started fish tailing on the road....I looked up to see there was this mutt of a dog just standing there on this completely empty road. He just stood there like he wanted to be hit....I then told Kyle that I had a theory I came up with a long time ago about dogs committing suicide by getting hit on purpose. He said he would've f*cked that dog UP! If he had decided to just hit him....I said at least it wasn't something big like Bigfoot. Kyle said Bigfoot would total his Malibu.....I agreed.

Then he said if he didn't....he'd get out the car and break Bigfoot's neck right then and there. I said "you know how pissed Bigfoot would be if you hit him and broke his leg? He'd get up and be hopping on his good leg. Then he'd put his hands up like he wanted to fight yo ass. Bet you didn't think Bigfoot could box?" Kyle said "he be in the woods punching deer and sh*t!"

Here is the rest of our exchange: enjoy
Damon: Can you imagine Bigfoot doing regular human sh*t?
Kyle: Like writing letters to family.
D:Dear Bigfoot, you smell horrible, take a shower with better soap
K:Dear Bigfoot, I had sex with your mother and shaved my name into her back fur.
D:He'd be reading the letter and freaking out. He'd write you back. The letter wouldn't get there though.
K:I know.
D:Bigfoot probably wouldn't put proper postage on the envelope! People at the post office would look at it and say...stupid Bigfoot! You can't use 39cent stamps anymore!
K:When he gets it back he just freaks out and smashes his mailbox....
D:And punts a raccoon....
K:B*cth slaps a moose.....
D:He's in the woods with a deer in a headlock.
K:I know right!
D:He puts a bear in the Figure-4 Leglock.....
K:The bear is all confused....
D:Reaching for the ropes...
K:His tag partner.....
D:Dear Bigfoot, you are a ball hog.....pass the rock more often.
K:Dear Bigfoot, your mom has human herpes......there is no known cure.
D:He's sittin' there with his glasses on.....
K:Big thick ones!
D:He thought they were fly!
K:All the other animals laugh!
D:Stupid Bigfoot.....take those glasses off. You look like a dumb ass!
K:He goes around just pissed off all day.
D:I should make posters with him doing every day sh*t!
K:Bigfoot checks his e-mail.....
D:All spam!
K:Bigfoot trys to log-in to Myspace....
D:Got no comments or friend requests today....
K:Puts air in his car tire.....
D:He doesn't even have a car!
K:Just a tire!

There is more but I think we both laughed way too much to remember it all......
Thanks 4 Your Time