Moments in (un)Black History Pt.1

First I'd like to explain what I mean by (un)Black History. It stems from the idea that there are legitimate moments that raise African-Americans up and there are moments that just bring us down. These "moments" don't always have to be a certain event. Sometimes, its just a person, place, or thing.

This shall be both serious and comical.....its up you to decide which is which.

1. The Jheri Curl - With its nasty juiced-up appearance, the jheri curl plagued Black folks throughout the 80s. It even claimed Micheal Jackson as a victim. I personally think that the intense burning of his scalp caused him to revert back to a child-like state. Later, causing him to adopt a monkey and have a "thing" for kids. The jheri curl also claimed my mother once. It was a long hard road to detach that beast from her cranium, but after some time and my constant snickering, she went with a straight perm. I still have nightmares about my uncle's "curl". I imagine it reaching out with its greasy tentacles and slathering me till I drown in activator juice. Sometimes, that nightmare gets mixed with the werewolf one....and freaks me the f*ck out. Imagine a werewolf chasing you.....and he has a jheri curl. Doesn't even have the sense to wear a shower cap! So the jheri curl is my number one draft pick for (un)Black History Moments!

2. The DC Sniper - We as Black people were soooooo sure that the sniper had to be White. When we found out that he was Black.....and a Muslim....we couldn't wipe the egg off our faces. He was riding around shooting people while they were gassing up their cars, leaving work and buying groceries. He put a big dent in the economy of that area. People were afraid to leave their homes. They didn't do anything. Crack sells saw an all-time low. The real problem with the DC Sniper being Black is that he didn't just ride around shooting white folks....he rode around shooting everybody......in a MUTHF*CKIN Chevy. How many Chevys do you see on a daily basis? Too many to count. I think I just saw one drive by my computer....yeah inside the library! I hope there won't ever be another "sniper". We were embarrassed enough with that one. The next probably will kick it up a notch and drive a hybrid car. You'd never think somebody so Eco conscious would be gunning people down as they buy lottery tickets.
3. The BET Network...After 2001 - Should I really have to say anything more about the sorry state of BET now days? Look at what they have done to a promising dream. You know its over when you replace your news(and the very sexy Jackie Reid sip) with more music videos and old Comic View clips. Yeah, I love Comic View but does a brotha really need to see Soulja Boy "Crank That" 29 times a day? Give me a chance.....sh*t! Why hasn't BET taken it upon itself to buy up all the old(also very funny) Black sitcoms? Black dramas? Movies that aren't just "hood" movies? Why not get Reading f*cking Rainbow....instead of playing a video that tells everyone to "read a book, read a book, read a goddamn book!" BET you should apologize to all Black people and go off the air for a week just to punish yourself.....you fired Free....to end up with Rocsi...she ain't even Black.....neither was the chick before her!


I'm not done! But I need you're help. If you can think of some more (un)Black Moments, please post them in the comments and I'll gladly add them to the list.

This is my mission until Black History Month starts