Don't Quote Me... Dumb Things Heard Round The Dorms

Here is a collection of quotes that people have said in my presence and I'm pretty sure they wish they hadn't!

Man! Those new washing machines suck. I took my clothes out and they were still wet!

Some nights I'd just rather jerk-off than f*ck my girlfriend.

Retarded people are way smarter than us, they just don't know it.

There was blood in my piss this morning. You think that means something is wrong?

I bet you "Coming to America" isn't funnier than "American Pie".

I used to date this chick who wouldn't go down on me. So I stopped having sex with her to teach her a lesson.

Who is Kevin Garnett? Does he play basketball?

I don't have to pay taxes this year. I didn't work the whole year. You have to only if you've worked at least 12 months.

You're crazy! Britney Spears is way hotter than Beyonce! And she sings better.

Thriller didn't sell 50 million records. Nobody has sold more than 20 or 25 million! I think it was the Beatles or U2.